Many of us grew up in Haitian households. No matter if we resided in Leogane, Haiti or Miami Florida. The Haitian households worldwide are all very similar in many ways. Lekol, legliz, lakay is still fundamental, wasting food at dinner was not an option, & doing anything unacceptable could result in a swift slap across the head. But what happens when you want to try some different parenting.
As us “millennials” cackle at our youth and the whooping’s we would get, we often ignore the trauma that came with it and the anxiety that kept our heads on a swivel. Charging our work ethic and successes, to our upbringings and the no nonsense family members that raised us. But do we ever openly say “I don’t want to raise my kids the same way?”
It is okay to feel as though you would like to parent differently. Seeing how many of our families parenting styles, were a specific way due to cultural reasons and out of fear that one bad decision could be the thing that ruins their child’s life and family name. It is necessary, as millennials we make a conscious decision to choose to do things the way we see fit. We shouldn’t feel shame or have the desire to sneak and try gentle parenting, or the Montessori way of schooling. We should do it and do it proudly. As the worlds evolve, it is evident that there are many ways to skin a cat. But what matters is the option you choose and ensuring it is best for you and yours.
We can’t continue to pass on generational traumas, but we also cannot just do things the way they have always been done just because that’s the way we’ve always seen it. With many resources available at our fingertips. We can cultivate new ways of thinking and behavior to provide us the results we want when parenting. Maybe you hated the idea of lekol, legliz, lakay, and want to afford your children opportunities that don’t involve being in church all-day on a Sunday. You can still have discipline and allow your children the opportunity to grow up in a home, where self-expression is encouraged. It is not unheard of, especially today. And you should be able to explore and create the world you want to live in, raise children in and try new things in. While still being authentic to your Haitian values.
We grew up during a time where, many of our parents were just trying to survive the best way they could. They learned how to be sustainable and efficient. Hoping the hard work, they put in, afforded us opportunities they dreamt of. And sometimes those dreams and accomplishments must come at the expense of the youth. It is our turn to raise the next generation to be both sustainable and human. To acknowledge and understand feelings, to appropriately display those with no fear, to know that there is more to life than church, school, and home. To know and believe that you can be anything you want to be. Not just a lawyer or a doctor but even a creative or an entrepreneur if that’s what you choose. We are now in a time where elevation is key. We can keep our traditions, while raising our youth to be the very people we hoped they could be. It just takes one act of change. The decision to do it differently. The idea to try a new method. We are not our parents; we are the change agents of our world.
